Chapter 1

Sitting in my favorite meeting spot sipping my tea and reading the
paper, I look up and out across the shop to observe a sea of faces.
Putting down my paper and leaning back in my chair, I take note of the
different people that leave here each morning to work in town. Most
of them are commuters headed to catch the train. So many people
have given up their vehicles, now that the fuel costs are out of
control and the no single citizen driving law. More than eighty
percent of these people now use public transportation to get to work.

The carpool is really getting on my nerves. Everyone pays on time.
My SUV is in great shape. I am not racking up too many miles since I
do this route everyday Monday thru Friday and I rarely go out of town
anymore. This is not what I was hopping to be doing at this stage of
my life, I'm feeling a little spent. Is it time to give this up? I'd
get a good return on my GM VFT and I would have more time to write. I
must not give up too quickly – there are four other people who depend
on me.
"Fiona, Jonathan called. He and David are not going to make it this morning.
There was a water main break in their building," said Ian.
"Did you tell them they could come here and shower?" I asked.
"Yes, but they decided to take the day off and hang out together." Ian
answered.
"Where are Dagney and Greg? They usually here by now."
"Perhaps you will get to stay in the shop this morning. It will be
like old times. I do miss having you here to start off the day. Some
of the regulars still ask for you everyday. In fact, Joy asked me to
have you call her yesterday and I forgot, but she will…"
At that moment Joy walks through the door with a twinkle in her eye. She is so glad to see me.
"Fiona – I am so glad that you are here. Can we talk in your office?" asks Joy.
"Ian, just buzz me when Dagney and Greg get here." Turning to Joy, I say,
"I may have to leave as soon as they get here. They seem to be
running a little late this morning."
"That's fine. If we don't get to finish our conversation then we can
talk later. You will be here this afternoon won't you?"
"Indeed."
"I got your email. I don't think you ought to give up the carpool
yet. You are providing something that people really need in this
world - a sense of community. With the exception of Dagney, none of these
people came into the shop before you provided the automobile commute.
Your laughter is infectious and your outlook on life is contagious.
Don't you see that you are cultivating a loving atmosphere for these
precious souls? In this new upside down world where people grew up
being very independent from one another at such a young age, now seeing that the
independence that is available is not like the isolation and
loneliness that they experienced driving their own cars and basically
living lonely lives of desperation. The fact that these people are
willing to ride with you, pay you, leave their mp3players in their
briefcases and being willing to get to know one another is such a
miracle."

“There are others doing what I do but we are far and few in between. Most who drive are also commuters themselves who actually stay in the city. I do believe I am called to do this but, it gets taxing. I am not as free as I was when Ian and I were in the shop in the morning, then I would take a couple of hours to write. I was still meeting with people regularly and providing a place for people to stay. My solitude was protected and my schedule was extremely flexible. Maybe I ought to see if I can get someone to cover for me and take a short break. You are right, for some reason I don’t think I ought to give it up completely.

It is strange that Dagney is not down here yet. Would you excuse me a minute Joy?”

“Sure.”

“Ian did you speak to Dagney this morning? I heard her get in the shower.”

“Yes. I’m sorry, I meant to tell you. She is going to visit her mother. Her dad called this morning after you left and said that her mother is very depressed and asking for Dagney, so she will be gone for the rest of the week.”

“And what about Greg?”

“I haven’t heard from him, honey. I will let you know. Would you like me to bring anything back there to you and Joy?”

“You take care of the customers. If Joy would like something I will get it for her.”

I find myself wondering, it looks like I am going to get the day off. O Lord, give me wisdom. I know that Joy wants me to do what is best and not give in to what I want. Perhaps I am getting some time to really think through what it is that I am doing. I really can not justify keeping the VFT if I give up the driving. It doesn’t make sense, Ian and I go away twice maybe three times a year. We can just rent a vehicle to do those trips.

“Joy, can I get you anything? Latte? Tea? Some fruit?”

“Did you already have your coffee?”

“Only my first cup. Would you like me to whip something up for us?”

“Let’s,” Joy smiles, “it has been too long since we had coffee.”

“Sit tight. I’ll be right back.”

I find myself easing in and enjoying a morning like mornings I had before our society took this dramatic turn. It is so good to see Joy. Greg hasn’t called and hasn’t shown, I will call him when Joy leaves.

“Hey Joy, my favorite table is available why don’t we have our coffee in the shop. Unless, you need the privacy of the office?”

“No, we can have our coffee out there. I just wanted to talk to you about your ride. It sounds like you are being mindful and not jumping ship. You know how spontaneous you can be.”

“… and so do you.” I smile. “That is why I appreciate your willingness to speak up. You’re a good friend Joy, one that someone like me needs.”

“I am glad that you are taking some time to think about it and it looks like you may have the day off today, from driving that is.”

“Yes, I hope Dagney is going to be ok. She got a train to go to her parents, perhaps Ian and I will go and pick her up on Sunday. I hope she calls.”

“See, Fiona. This is what I am talking about. You treat Dagney like a daughter or younger sister, and you are willing to drive out there to get her.”

“The train schedule is different on Sundays. Masstransit will probably not change it until more of the tracks and trains are ready to handle a larger amount of traffic, not to mention that her folks don’t have a vehicle.”

“Sometimes I envy you Fiona Blair. You give of yourself yet you consider yourself to be the receiver of great blessing. You don’t just drive people around, you join them on their personal journeys through life. You give them your heart and love with abandon.”

“You think too highly of me.”

“I do not. You don’t see yourself the way others see you. Your life is service to others.”

“Thank you for that. It may be true but I struggle. I value my solitude so highly, some times to the point of it becoming an idol. I clothe it in being a person of balance. You know that I have tried to achieve that as a person in midlife. The truth is as much as I love people, I also love being by myself. Not to worry, I think I will probably driving these four for a while. Enough about me, what do you think of my hair? How have you been?”

“Well, Grady and I are going away on a second honeymoon. We thought if we wait till our 40^th we may have another grandchild on the way or wedding happening. Since things are relatively quite, Grady surprised me on my birthday with tickets for a 10 day cruise to Alaska. You and Ian know the ports. Would you email me a list of things I might not want to miss?”

“Sure, let me know what cruise it is and I will come up with something based on the ports. Of course, those things always have some good tour info or led tours. How exciting! The two of you are going to have a great time. Have a bourbon on me and don’t drink too much.” We both laughed “You must be so looking forward to this. Is this the first time the 2 of you have gone on a vacation alone since your first honeymoon?”

“You know it.”

“Oh….you will love Alaska. Are you a little nervous?”

“At first I was. Leaving Kate and Aaron, I thought that was a little too long but they are so excited about going to Mary and Nate’s for 2 whole weeks. Mary of course, was in on it with her dad. How could I refuse?” Joy said with peace written across her lips.

“When do you leave?”

“In 3 weeks.”

“Will you and Grady be available for dinner? Say Saturday night?”

“I believe so, let me check with Gray and I will give you a call. I need to get going.”

“Let me walk you to the station. Ian, I’ll be back in a little bit, I’m going to walk Joy to the train.”

“Alright. Nice to see you Joy.”

“You too Ian, have a great day.”

“Thanks, you too.”

We walked down the brick sidewalk in the bright sun. The air is dry and cold on this December morning. Continuing to talk as we make our way to the station, both of us wishing we could spend the rest of the day together but knowing that our lives are calling us back. There is nothing like a friend of the heart to encourage me on the path that has been laid out for me and helping me to discover that even though there is a bend in the road, it doesn’t mean that I need to abandon my current route. I watch Joy get on the train at the last minute she turns toward me winks and gives me the “I’ll call” you sign of bringing her right thumb and pinkie up to her ear. It a wonderful thing to be a part of someone’s world. Time to get back to the shop, I wonder what Greg is up to this morning.

Mr. Thomas must be burning the last of his leaves. The smell reminds me of times past when we lived in Worcester and the kids were small. Everyone gathering at the Phillips’ to burn leaves, since they were the only ones in the neighborhood with a permit to do so. Funny how a smell will lead you back to a memory that you forgot was even there.

[1] Catherine Mullaney 2005 ©